Nosy neighbors

The houses around us are still under construction, but are almost done. The one behind us is just about finished and a young, soon-to-be-married couple is going to be living there (let's hope they aren't freaky weird people). Before they move in, I wanted to take a look at the inside to see what they did with their flooring and all. So when I got home from work the other night, I walked over to their house to peek into their kitchen window. I'm standing there in their bushes, which were actually sticks in mud (literally), when all of a sudden our other neighbor's garage opens.

Since I didn't want to get caught looking into the neighbor's house at dark because that's just weird and embarrassing, I panicked and started to dart back to my garage. The heel of my left shoe gets stuck in the mud, my right foot flies out to continue running, and the right work pump is flung a good thirty feet toward my garage. I cringe as I hear the leather scraping across the asphalt. Meanwhile, the garage door is still rolling up. I gain momentum and hobble one-shoe-on, one-shoe-off toward my garage, muttering to myself at my stupidity. As I get to my right shoe, my neighbor spies me in the alley looking guilty, partially barefooted, and mumbling. There is a brief expression on his face of "What the Hell?" I make some sort of wave-like gesture and, instinctively, make like I'm taking the recycling bin out. Even though it was not recycle week.

When I get in the house in slight disarray, my right foot muddy, V inquires about what the heck is going on. At that moment, I look down at my muddy foot only to see something dark and smooshed, which for some reason I automatically assume to be an enormous squished spider. V is further perplexed when I hopped around the kitchen on one foot, yelping like a chihuahua, as I tried to remove whatever it was that was stuck to my foot.

I am positive that to this day my neighbor thinks I've got a screw loose. But at least he won't be stopping by for sugar.